The Difference Between Real Friends and Social Media Friends

I can't reflect on my experience with social media without reflecting on the people I met through it.

I think we all understand how much our environment shapes us, whether it's our close friends or simply the people surrounding us in both our inner and outer circles.

As I spent more time on social media, I gradually found myself interacting more with people there than with my real life friends, the ones I've known for ten or even twenty years.

My real life friends and I didn't meet that often anymore. Everyone had their own responsibilities, so we'd catch up every once in a while. The only people I stayed in constant contact with were my business partners because that was necessary.

Since I'm an old school guy, "Sekka 9dima" as we say, I'm used to treating my close friends a certain way. Without realizing it, I started treating people I met on social media the exact same way. I assumed the best in everyone who reached out to me. I never approached conversations with suspicion or questioned people's intentions. I just let things unfold naturally.

Boy, was I wrong.

That mindset ended up causing me a lot of problems.

So what's the fundamental difference between the friends you make in real life and the people you meet through social media?

The difference lies in the relationship dynamic itself.

Real life friendships are usually built on mutual exchange. Both people naturally give and receive. Of course there are exceptions, but generally that's how healthy friendships develop.

Social media relationships, on the other hand, often revolve around taking without giving, especially if you're the creator and they're the audience.

The expectation becomes that you're always the one providing while everyone else consumes. They take what they need, disappear, then come back the next time they need something again.

Sometimes they're taking your knowledge without giving anything in return. Sometimes they're taking your time. Sometimes it's your energy.

Either way, the dynamic is almost always the same.

You're the giver.

They're the receivers.

At first, that doesn't really bother you because you've accepted the role of being the creator. People look up to you, trust your opinion, and see you as someone they can learn from.

The imbalance only becomes obvious when you're the one who needs help, or at the very least, fairness.

I remember one situation where someone copied the entire visual identity of my Brand Audit Consulting offer, which at the time had created a lot of buzz in the business and branding space on Instagram.

When I needed the support of some of these so called friends to simply acknowledge what had happened so the guy would realize he couldn't get away with it, nothing.

Everyone acted like they didn't see anything.

Some privately admitted that what happened wasn't right, but publicly they stayed silent.

One guy I actually considered a friend because we'd met several times and stayed in touch happened to also be friends with the person who copied my work. When I asked him about it, he completely downplayed the situation. He told me I was overreacting and that the other guy probably didn't even care. According to him, I was the only one making it into a big issue.

Even though everyone could clearly see it was practically a copy and paste of the visual identity.

That's when I realized something important.

The problem wasn't necessarily them.

The problem was that I was expecting real life friendship standards from relationships that were never built on those foundations.

I'm convinced that if the same thing had happened with my real life friends, they would've done everything they could to help me get my rights back, or at the very least stand beside me. They would never have tried to convince me that I was the problem or that I was overreacting over something that was obviously unfair.

That doesn't mean every social media friend is fake or opportunistic.

Not at all.

I just think that's the default dynamic more often than not, just like there are fake people in real life who only keep you around when it's convenient for them.

The beautiful side of social media, though, is the community I've built.

I genuinely love them, and they've always shown up for me.

Huge shout out to all of them.

Many of them are now part of Nhance, and they didn't hesitate for a second when I launched the program. They were among the very first to join and support it wholeheartedly.

I also started noticing another pattern among people on social media.

There are people driven by passion.

And there are people driven by validation.

The passionate ones almost always operate through reciprocity.

They naturally feel that if they're going to receive something, they should contribute something too. Some of them even feel uncomfortable taking without giving first because generosity is simply part of who they are.

The opportunistic ones are different.

They only want to take.

And ironically, they're often the first people to disappear when things get difficult for you.

When I looked closer, I realized they all had one thing in common.

They had no real passion.

They're in these spaces almost entirely for external validation.

They suffer from main character syndrome.

In their minds, everyone else exists to serve their story. The entire network is there to give them attention, recognition, opportunities, praise, almost as if it's some kind of obligation.

Their real passion isn't creating.

Their passion is feeling validated.

Feeling like the center of the universe.

At first, I used to feel disappointed whenever someone I believed in turned out to be that way.

Eventually, though, I developed a simple framework.

Passion became my filter.

If I meet someone who's genuinely passionate about what they do, I immediately assume they're probably a good person and someone I can trust.

If someone constantly behaves like the main character, I'm polite, but I keep my distance.

Those people never stay in my circle for long.

Because my goal isn't just to know successful people.

My goal is to know good people, and for good people to know me.

People who are all working toward the same mission.

To leave this world a little better than we found it.